Pickup Podcast Blog

There are a couple of things to do in order to become very memorable. One is to pick somebody that you remember, and ask yourself: what are the characteristics that made you remember this person?

What was it about that person that made you think of them beyond your initial encounter? Was it was that they made you feel? Was it the way that they listened to you? Was it the way that they engaged you in conversation? Was it something that they said that was particularly interesting? Think about it. Life is all about modeling – you can model yourself after somebody.

I’d like to share a story. Back when I was 24 years old, I was a wannabe actor in New York City and I really hated waiting tables and wanted to bartend. I went into this bar that my friend Pilar – this blond girl – was working in, and I said, “teach me how to bartend.”

She said, “fine, here are the 20 drinks you need to memorize.” I had no problem with that, but I asked, “do you mind if I come here every single night and just watch the way you move?” Bartenders have a certain way that they move behind the bar; you want to make it look good. She looked great behind the bar – the way she shook the cocktail shaker, they way she moved her arms up and down in making shots – there are so many particular mannerisms.

So I literally watched her mannerisms behind the bar every night for two weeks. I memorized the drinks; found myself a job, and what happened next? My first night bartending, there were probably a thousand people in the club, and at the end of the night they hired me as the head bartender because I was the best they’d seen in a long time. And I had never bartended before in my life!

It was the same thing when I went into the car business – for some reason or another, I always wanted to own a used car lot, because I was obsessed with cars and wanted to have 50 of them at once to play with and drive. I was at the point in my life and in my career where I was investing in real estate in Colorado (buying and selling foreclosures) and I started hanging out at my ex-partner Greg’s job: he was a salesman for this certain used car lot.

I’d go in there everyday and negotiate with him over cars. Then I would go to every single car dealer in Denver and negotiate with them over their car deals – I learned how they negotiated. I wanted to learn everything, and I learned the lingo they were using. I asked them about their business, and everything that I could possibly know about the business – the wholesale end, the retail end – everything.

So then I opened up my business with Greg, who ended up being my partner, and three weeks into it these wholesalers came into the dealership. I forgot their names, but I think they were Johnny and Roger. They were two really old wholesalers; they’d been in the business something like 30 years.

They looked at me and they said, “it’s so great that you’re a car guy. We hate all of the guys that just get into this business to make money. You’re one of these old-fashioned car guys.” I was thinking to myself, I got into the business not only because I liked cars, but I also knew it would be a good investment – but because I had talked to all of the dealers and asked so many questions, I was able to become that “car guy.”

Everything in life is about becoming memorable. How you do this is by mirroring somebody that you respect.

There are two options for participating in a weekend bootcamp with me. Most people choose the first one, which is where I watch you in action, and then you watch me, and then I’ll watch you, and we will alternate to see exactly how you do, and I’ll keep critiquing you.

But there’s a great story about a guy who came to attend one of my coaching weekends and chose the second option. He looked at me and said, “I just want to follow you the entire weekend. I don’t want to talk or anything. I’m going to take notes, I’m going to record you speaking, and I’m going to follow you. The last hour of the weekend is going to be me going out and being you.” Read the rest of this entry »

You can give a woman an orgasm without even touching her.   Don’t believe me?  Go see a stage hypnosis show in Vegas.  Hypnotists do it every night.  Hell there are videos of this on YouTube.

Now you may be thinking “But I’m not a hypnotist”.   If you stop yourself here, you will miss out on the real secret to giving women the best sex of their life.  You’ll blow your chance to be called The Best Lover they ever had.

So what is this amazing secret?  Here it is in a nutshell:

Your most powerful tool in the bedroom is not your “tool”,
it is your voice; specifically dirty talk, and it is very powerful.

If you haven’t heard this before, it doesn’t surprise me.  

All the so-called “sex books” out there are utterly ineffective at teaching men how to give women orgasms.  Their advice is the typical “nurture communication and dialog”, or “ask for feedback” or “get in touch with your feminine side”.

In other words it’s mostly touchy feely new age bullshit.   And you won’t find any of them telling you to talk dirty to your women, or to get her imagining what you will do to her later while you are on a date, or to call her when you are out of town and have phone sex.

Women LOVE this stuff!

Why?  Because for a woman, the mental aspect is the most important part of sex.  For men it’s visual.

Men watch porn.  Women read 500 page romance novels.   (In case you didn’t know, Romance novels are one of the top selling categories of books year after year after year).

When you understand this, you can drive women wild even when you are a thousand miles away!

Now some men are afraid to talk dirty.  They think the woman will take it wrong or will be offended.  Some men can’t talk dirty because they themselves are not comfortable with their own sexuality.  Some men don’t believe that dirty talk is powerful. 

Such men don’t give women orgasms.  Remember 70% of women do NOT have an orgasm during intercourse.  But ALL healthy women can have orgasms during sex, but it is the man’s responsibility to make it happen.  And I got news for you… pump-n-dump does not do the trick.

Think of the bad boys.  Women love bad boys.  Women cum like crazy with a bad boy.  And what do you think those bad boys are doing in the bedroom with her?  They’re talking dirty.  Very dirty.

Maybe you’re “a nice guy” or “a gentleman”.  That’s all good.  But if you are always a nice guy, it does not spark any excitement in her.  There is a time and place to be a bad boy.  You need to push out of your comfort zone and learn how.

Here is an email that I recently received, note the one thing that made a difference was him talking dirty. 

Sean Wilson in the U.K. wrote:

I recently started dating a girl who told me that she’d never had an orgasm and genuinely seemed to have no interest in sex.

Well after a bit of building an emotional relationship and respect, I began to try and give her that elusive first orgasm. At first nothing seemed to work. Then during sex I took control and started talking dirty, and that just drove her crazy and she had a vaginal orgasm!

Overnight she turned into the kinkiest girl I’ve ever come across! We had sex in the park, and so much more! She is now able to have both clitoral and vaginal orgasms and wants sex all the time!

Now after this she’s told me that I make her feel better than any other guy and that she’s scared that no other guy will be able to make her feel this good after me.

Thank you!

Sean

The other thing to note is how this woman went from no interest in sex to wanting it all the time!  And it had nothing to do with the size of his ‘tool’.

Are you getting an idea of how powerful this is?

Give women incredible pleasure,
David Shade

Women understand abundance very clearly. By the time they develop breasts they begin to see men in a different way. They soon find out men want sex from them and will do just about anything to get it. They have their choice of whom they will sleep with and they have to start looking for reasons why they CAN’T sleep with every halfway-decent-looking guy who buys them a drink or asks them out on a date or else they would never get out of bed. Women themselves are highly sexual people—as much if not more than we are—which makes this hard and is the reason why they have to be choosy.

This is personified in an episode of Sex and the City where one of the women goes out to dinner with a potential mate and he accidentally gets salad dressing on the side of his face. At this point, it’s all she can think about—and suddenly attraction is gone. It is her job to find reasons—no matter how arbitrary they are—why to not invite you into her life. It is her job to find reasons to not sleep with you, so let’s stop giving them reasons.

Get cleaned up, put on some decent clothes, stop being a pussy, tell her how you feel about her and escalate. It is your job as a man to escalate and hers as a woman to pace it. Lead the interaction, find confidence in yourself and use it. Women are looking for the following cues to not sleep with you:

1. Unsure of yourself
2. Bad body language
3. Unable to be comfortable
4. Awkward around other men and women
5. Unable to be in the moment
6. Lack of sense of humor
7. Bending to their every whim
8. Speaking to them logically while they are in an emotional state
9. Neediness and approval seeking behavior

They want sex and they want it now, but why get it from you when they have a stable of guys they already know. They are bored of the guys they already sleep with. If they were not, most likely they would be in a relationship with them. They are on the prowl for better mates. You are going to have to rise above and lead them to a better man.

You are going to be him, so own it and believe it. Quit stepping all over yourself. Move one foot in front of the other and proceed like you have the tools for every job and know how to use them without a flinch or hesitation. This comes down to a basic idea of just not screwing it up!

If all you have to do is not screw it up then it should be pretty easy, right?

Jordan and Josh chat with the guys at Project Rockstar about their complete makeover.

Check out The Art of Charm

Check out Hookah Paradise Don’t forget to use coupon code ‘pickuppodcast’ to save 10%!

Hey Brotha!

I’m Sean Stephenson, publisher of Inner Game Magazine, and I am excited to share with you some techniques that will attract the women you want… 

“BUT…Sean, I’m not that good looking!”

It doesn’t matter.

“BUT…Sean, I’m really not that tall!”

It doesn’t matter.

“BUT…Sean, I don’t have much money!”

It doesn’t matter.

Your external reality (i.e. looks, height, income) doesn’t determine what happens to you in life…or with women.

The deciding factor is always your inner game!  

I’ve seen guys who are short, not attractive, and totally broke attract the women they want.

Just take a look at me…

Mathematically speaking, there’s no way I should be dating hot women.

I’m only three feet tall, my body is shaped kinda like Yoda, and I’m in a wheelchair…

Yet, I attract gorgeous women who are super smart, cuddly, and fun to be around. 

Read the rest of this entry »

You’ve probably made this mistake 10 times this week already.

You go to pay for something you picked out in a store and the clerk is absolutely gorgeous.  While your mind races to find for the “right” thing to say, you wind up missing the opportunity.

I witnessed a textbook example of a guy doing it wrong, immediately followed by a guy doing it right.  Here is how it happened:

I was waiting in line behind two guys, both about the same age and both with average looks.  The clerk ringing us up was stunning.  The first guy approached the checkout counter and placed a few items next to the register.  The clerk initiated the conversation:

Beautiful Clerk: “Hi, how are you” (relatively dead-faced, because she greets 1000 customers per day the same way)

Guy1: “Fine…how are you?” (his mind racing, probably trying to remember a good clerk routine or how to do the cube game)

BC: (still relatively expressionless) “Fine”

Silence.

BC rings up the items, places them in a bag and hands them to Guy 1.  He leaves, wondering what he could have said to get something going with her.

THEN, the second guy approached the counter.  This time, before she could even address him, HE initiated the conversation.

Read the rest of this entry »

Wayne Elise aka Juggler stops by to chat with us about building charisma.

Check out The Art of Charm

Check out Hookah Paradise Don’t forget to use coupon code ‘pickuppodcast’ to save 10%!

There’s been a lot of talk recently about becoming a “natural.”  Instead of using awkward, pre-scripted material, you want to be able to talk to a woman using things you’ve thought of yourself right there in the moment.

Instead of thinking about what to do with women, you want to be able to feel what to do.  You want it to come from someplace deep inside of you.

You want to be yourself around the woman, instead of somebody else.

“I feel like it’s a canned opener and that the woman will sense it,” Eddie says to me as we practice openers in the workshop.

Later that day, we have girl practice.  We bring women into the workshop and the guys practice approaching them.  The women give guys genuine, honest feedback, the kind of feedback one rarely gets from women he approaches in the real world.

Eddie practices a street stop.  He stops her and says “Hey you’re cute.  I was walking by and I noticed your shirt is great.  And I like your eyes.  And I’m Eddie.  Where are you going?”

He stumbles over his words.  And ironically, this makes him sound less genuine.

Why?

It’s good to have some nervous energy when approaching a woman.  She can tell that you are excited, that you are into her.  And she usually responds with more energy.

But timid, hesitant stumbling can often sound like you aren’t excited to meet her. It can sound like you are just going through the motions.

So if Eddie wants to be natural, he wants to be himself, how does he do that?

There’s an old joke that actors say to one another:  Act Natural.  It’s funny because if you are acting, you’re not being “natural.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a question for you:

Have you ever spotted a woman and immediately thought “Wow, she’s amazing” — and then proceeded to do absolutely nothing about it?

And maybe this was at a social event, so you see her several times over the course of the evening, bumping into her two or three times.

And nothing came of it, because you just didn’t gather up the courage to go up and speak to her?

And then you proceeded to kick yourself for the rest of the week, month– maybe even to THIS DAY, wondering what could have happened?

I know that feeling. And it totally sucks.

And the regret gets even worse when I think of the women I have dated, and how every single one of those relationships started out with me gathering up my cojones enough to say ‘Hi’.

That’s where it all starts, brotherman. Fulfilling, long- term connections lasting several years, involving kissing, cuddling, coed indoor sports, mutual support, and real friendship — and it all started out with a simple howdy.

Just recently, I was hanging out with two of them. One of them I had met for 5 minutes in an LA bar in 2003 and got her email. The other I spoke to while she was promoting some liquor at a Boston establishment — in 2001! And they’re both still part of my life. Who knew.

The point is that I’d prefer that you guys have the company of fine women instead of the sting of regret.

At the very least, I want you to be able to take action and take the step to connect to a woman who interests you. And if it doesn’t work, fine — but at least you can go to bed that night with your mind at peace, thinking, “I did my part as a man, and I’m cool with that.”

And anyway, who are you to deprive these women of your fine company? You’re actually being quite selfish when you don’t exercise your courage and don’t approach!

So here are six tips in six minutes to vaccinate you against regret for ever and all time, world without end, hallelujah and amen:

1) Get in a good state.

Good feelings are contagious. You feel good, she’s going to feel good. Also, you’re much friendlier and open when you’re in a positive state, which makes it easy for you to approach strangers.

Read the rest of this entry »

Weight training and cardiovascular exercise are good ideas for any man serious about his health. These things can also help towards your success with women, because they will give you greater confidence and a general sense of well-being, which are attractive qualities to have.

There is a basic formula that I use when it comes to my physical health that I also apply to every aspect of my personal growth. When it comes to growth – whether you want to grow your muscles, your social skills, your confidence with women – stress is your best friend. That’s right, I said “stress is your best friend!”

We grow our muscles by putting stress on them, followed by a period of recovery, combined with proper nutrition. There is a lot of advice on there about how to best put that stress on your muscles, such as what types of weights to lift, in what manner, and how often. But the basic formula remains the same: put the right amount and type of stress on yourself, then take time to recover, then your muscles should grow. If you want to maintain your weight or the amount of muscle you have, then you keep doing the same routine over and over. In order to grow, however, you need to progressively increase your stress levels.

We can consider other aspects of our lives to be similar when it comes to growth. Our muscle strength is representative of our ability to handle physical stress. In the same way, our social “muscles” enable us to excel when we are in tricky or new situations. Likewise, our emotional “muscles” enable us to handle difficult conversations with our girlfriends. Men with strong emotional “muscles” can handle the toughest women with grace. Women who routinely eat weaker men for breakfast become like purring kittens in the hands of a man who is emotionally strong.

When it comes to your mind and body, I don’t see much distinction between the two. I consider the mind and body as parts of a cybernetic whole. Any weight trainer who does not examine and learn to govern his mental thought processes – his ability to relax and recover, his desire and determination, his ability to sleep at night with a clear conscience – is really fighting against himself.

Read the rest of this entry »